I don't think your problems are yours alone. I think many of us in the tech community suffer from varying degrees of the components - it, unfortunately, comes with the territory.
For me, life is given meaning when you give to others, and there are many outlets for this in the Tech world, even if you can't do it in the physical world right now (eg. through family, or helping out with charitable organisations etc.) - that would probably come with time. Being a talented technologist, there are many OpenSource projects that could use your help, and experience - for me there is a real satisfaction and joy in doing so. Self worth comes much more easily, when your value as a contributor to society is recognised by others.
Whenever i read one of your posts i remember the old days when i was recluse at my room, thinking about life. One thing that i've learnt from my psychiatrist is you only think about the meaning of life and such when you're "depressed" (Not in the bad way, but when you're feeling blue).
"Normal" people don't philosophy about life, they don't care about the recursion thought "what came before us, and before..", why are we here and why should we pursue a career and live our lifes just to die in the end (and therefore lose it all). "Normal" people just live.
That's something which has been bothering me my whole life, this over simplification of life. Do you know what I mean? And as strange as it seems, after I started jogging and going to the gym regularly, my head got "clearer".To make an example: One of my biggest fears in life was to die and never again remember what I've accomplished, who I met in life and in some way changed their lives. After working out, the mindset is changed: I no longer care about these questions.
Have you ever tried meditation? I'm really skeptical about religion and anything involved with it (in this case buddhism), but it really helped with my anxiety. It's impressive how you get calm when you stop thinking, even for a second (I can fell a really good sensation when I take an anxiety pill or when I meditate. You should try that.
ps: btw sorry for my english, its not my first language.
What happened to you, Tec? I stumbled on this site, and see your last post was very discouraged and posted a long time ago. Hope things got better for you, I can see you touched a lot of people by your honest posts.
Believe it or not, your few blog entries have inspired me (and others), for they made me realize that I am not alone in my pain.
Don't give up, life can be better, the pain can be healed, and meaning can be restored. As another suggested, meditation (even for a second) is a powerful medicine. It saved me from a life of despair, a cancer in my soul.
When I visited your website, it came to my attention that you have the same concerns and questions about various disorders that affect millions of people each day. At Disorder.org we are developing our website to continually feed information to the interested public. Our website is a great resource for those looking for answers to the hundreds of disorders today. We offer up to date articles, interviews, and informative videos. We would love to be associated with your blog/website to make the public aware the disorders that continue to affect us and our loved ones.
I have the Disorder resource tab. It will be beneficial to your readers. I will send it to you at your request.Please email me back with the subject line as your url.
It has been 11 years and I just came across all of your blogs that I had printed out from then. I’m battling the same matters and desperately need to find you and connect?!
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9 comments:
I found your blog ages ago, and in a time of anxiety found it again. I also recently found this link (below) and thought I'd share it with you.
The Pursuit of Happiness
I don't think your problems are yours alone. I think many of us in the tech community suffer from varying degrees of the components - it, unfortunately, comes with the territory.
For me, life is given meaning when you give to others, and there are many outlets for this in the Tech world, even if you can't do it in the physical world right now (eg. through family, or helping out with charitable organisations etc.) - that would probably come with time.
Being a talented technologist, there are many OpenSource projects that could use your help, and experience - for me there is a real satisfaction and joy in doing so.
Self worth comes much more easily, when your value as a contributor to society is recognised by others.
Best wishes,
Piers.
Whenever i read one of your posts i remember the old days when i was recluse at my room, thinking about life. One thing that i've learnt from my psychiatrist is you only think about the meaning of life and such when you're "depressed" (Not in the bad way, but when you're feeling blue).
"Normal" people don't philosophy about life, they don't care about the recursion thought "what came before us, and before..", why are we here and why should we pursue a career and live our lifes just to die in the end (and therefore lose it all). "Normal" people just live.
That's something which has been bothering me my whole life, this over simplification of life. Do you know what I mean? And as strange as it seems, after I started jogging and going to the gym regularly, my head got "clearer".To make an example: One of my biggest fears in life was to die and never again remember what I've accomplished, who I met in life and in some way changed their lives. After working out, the mindset is changed: I no longer care about these questions.
Have you ever tried meditation? I'm really skeptical about religion and anything involved with it (in this case buddhism), but it really helped with my anxiety. It's impressive how you get calm when you stop thinking, even for a second (I can fell a really good sensation when I take an anxiety pill or when I meditate. You should try that.
ps: btw sorry for my english, its not my first language.
What happened to you, Tec? I stumbled on this site, and see your last post was very discouraged and posted a long time ago. Hope things got better for you, I can see you touched a lot of people by your honest posts.
Believe it or not, your few blog entries have inspired me (and others), for they made me realize that I am not alone in my pain.
Don't give up, life can be better, the pain can be healed, and meaning can be restored. As another suggested, meditation (even for a second) is a powerful medicine. It saved me from a life of despair, a cancer in my soul.
Hi,
When I visited your website, it came to my attention that you have the same concerns and questions about various disorders that affect millions of people each day. At Disorder.org we are developing our website to continually feed information to the interested public. Our website is a great resource for those looking for answers to the hundreds of disorders today. We offer up to date articles, interviews, and informative videos. We would love to be associated with your blog/website to make the public aware the disorders that continue to affect us and our loved ones.
I have the Disorder resource tab. It will be beneficial to your readers. I will send it to you at your request.Please email me back with the subject line as your url.
what happened to you, Tec? post something. if not for you, then for us. hope you are well.
It has been 11 years and I just came across all of your blogs that I had printed out from then.
I’m battling the same matters and desperately need to find you and connect?!
PLEASE HELP me??
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